14 September 2016

Self-love


I wrote this poem a few months ago about the self-hate culture that we have as a society

Amongst teenagers, 50% of girls and 30% of boys use unhealthy methods such as skipping meals, fasting and vomiting to control their weight, and 90% of teenagers are unhappy with their body shape. So why is this?

The media is easy to blame as magazines and social media obviously promote the unrealistic body standards that we all know too well: skinny, yet curvy, flawless, yet messy – an attempt at relatability yet still maintaining the Photoshop polished look. It’s easy to get caught up in these fake images, it’s easy to believe that they’re real, to believe that celebrities are naturally perfect, but the truth is it’s all an illusion.

But there are surprisingly many further reasons to why we teenagers are insecure about how we look. Conflicting ideologies about beauty, the growing anxiety trend and being judged on how much skin we show, to name a few.  We need to stop the belief that a girl’s worth is in how much makeup she wears or how short her skirt is.  We need to stop the belief that a boy’s worth is in his strength.

In my experience, we are our own worst enemies. Every day in this school, I see people making fun of each other for achieving, for being individuals and sometimes just for being. Research shows that we are happier when we boost each other up and more miserable when we tear people down and criticise unnecessarily.

I believe that as a society, we should promote a new way.  Instead of tearing each other down for what we wear, for how our hair looks, for our skin, for our body, for our personalities, for our intelligence, for our motivation, we should empower each other to do what makes us happy, encourage each other to do our own best. To not compete. To build with each other. To be the best people that we can be. Make a stand for yourself. Be proud of who you are. Don’t be afraid to do what makes you happy. Form a culture in this generation that encourages self-love not self-hate. Help me to acknowledge that we’re in a mess, for love to replace hate.

5 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more, especially with that last paragraph you wrote! I really don't understand why we can't just all accept & encourage each other, it would make everything so much easier. Thank you for writing this, it's always great to read about someone having the same view as you x

    Sara’sChapters

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    1. You are so welcome! I'm glad you feel this way! I totally agree that it would be SO much easier if we all told each other when we think they're pretty or nice or clever, why is it so difficult? It's really difficult to not scrutinise other people for their appearances but if everyone just put in that extra bit of effort the world would be a much better place!

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  2. I agree with you but I just feel like I can't love myself because I hate my body shape and I don't know how to lose weight...

    Vildana from Living Like V & Stalia Is BAE

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    1. Loving yourself is tricky and it takes a lot of time. Me and my mum are best friends and for my entire childhood she encouraged me to believe I was beautiful, I was never really told that there was another option, I have always loved who I am and accepted my body for it's flaws. Except, there was a year in my life where I got bullied a lot and for some reason I thought that it was because i was ugly and I became so paranoid about how I look, I was obsessed. Since the bullying has stopped, I have looked back on my experience and realised that the reason people didn't like me was because I am confident in who I am and I'm proud of who am. Since then I have learned to overcome that paranoia and once again learn to love my body and my personality for what it is. Here is my advice to you:

      - stop comparing your body to other people's, they are beautiful, but so are you
      - Change your aim so that it's not to be thinner, but to be healthier. Aim for a balanced diet and your body will adjust to how it should be, if it doesn't change, congratulations!
      - You need to learn to accept that your body has flaws, and you have flaws, for example: i have one hip that's bigger than the other, weird feet and im not particularly curvy breast-wise, but I have learned to love those flaws as they are a part of who I am and I would never change that, my body wouldn't be my body
      - stop placing your value on your weight or your body, your value is in you: when your strive to be a good person and do everything you can for yourself and for others
      - loving yourself isn't about not having flaws or pretending that you don't have them, loving yourself is accepting your flaws and loving them for you and eventually you wont see them as flaws but individual things that are specific to only you
      - don't be afraid to stand out and put yourself out there, it seems unrelated but when you are confident enough to go out of your comfort zone and see that it's okay, you could learn to value your experiences and your bravery over your body.

      It will be okay, just because you feel this way now, it doesn't mean you will feel this way forever. Just alter your mind set and work a little bit everyday into creating a self-love mindset. Good luck xxxx

      // Jeani

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  3. first of all, the advice you've given in the comment above is perfect& so helpful. I love this post! So many of us are low in confidence, but it's so good that you managed to build yours up again after the bullying xxx ps- I'm slowly working my way through your posts ahah, just discovered&love your blog! bethmay75.blogspot.co.uk

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Thank you for commenting on my blog - I'm having trouble at the moment with replying to comments but I would like you to know that I really appreciate your comment and would love to have a discussion with you elsewhere about this blog post!

Thank you // Jeani